The Practice and Practicality of Everyday Discipleship
It is common for parents to think that taking their children to church is the only form of discipleship they need. Taking your child to church and then not mentioning the scriptures, praying as a family, or teaching your children what it means to follow Jesus during the week is like feeding them breakfast and neglecting the other two meals throughout the day. Children need to see the importance of the local church, but they also need to see the importance of following Jesus every day in the life of the believer. This knowledge should, most often, come from their parents in the form of everyday discipleship.
Everyday discipleship within the context of the home is important for so many reasons. First and foremost, it is important because The Lord has commanded it. In Psalm 78, Asaph commands his people to tell of the deeds of the Lord to the coming generation. We see in Deuteronomy 6 that The Lord commanded the Israelites to talk about the things of The Lord with their family at every juncture of the day. We are also fulfilling Jesus’ great commission when we are making disciples within the walls of our own home.
So, if we understand that the discipleship of our children is a command from Scripture, how do we do it? I think the first step in everyday family discipleship is removing the stigma that we aren’t equipped to do this work. One of the most important parts of discipleship, especially of children, is just letting them see you authentically follow Jesus. When you are teaching your children about Jesus, it is actually best practice to show them your inadequacies. In doing so, you are allowing them to bring their failures, shortcomings, and inadequacies to Jesus as well. We actually give children a more complete view of the gospel, when we show them that it is only Jesus who was sinless, and it is Him that we turn to when we fail or when we don’t have all of the answers.
One of the most important aspects of family discipleship is modeling what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. Your children need to see you in The Word every day, your dependence on prayer, your scripture memory, etc. It is so formative for children when they see that you aren’t just asking them to read a Bible story or memorize a Psalm, but you are actually doing it as well! This shows your children that you have actually been changed by the good news of the gospel, and you, in turn, want that for them as well.
Now, let’s make a plan on the best way to disciple our families. I believe that the best way to incorporate formal discipleship is to fold it into the rhythms that your family already has. For example, mealtime discipleship is a great way to fold discipleship into your family rhythms. Maybe your family struggles to be at the table, all together, every night of the week for dinner. But everyone sits down to eat breakfast every morning. Then, for your family, breakfast would be a great time to read a Bible story together! So, think about the normal rhythms that your family already has. What are some times during the day that you can leverage intentionally for discipleship?
Here are some examples to think through (None of these are prescriptive, just ideas for you to start or add to the discipleship you are already doing):
Bible Story over breakfast. Pick a children’s storybook Bible, and read one story a day around the breakfast table.
Morning basket. This is especially great for preschool-aged children. Put a basket together with a storybook Bible, Scripture memory cards, and a puzzle. You can read the story to your children while they work on the puzzle, and then you can practice the scripture memory cards together after the story.
Listening to songs or podcasts in the car. The car can also be a great time for more intentional conversations with your kids. Oftentimes, kids will be willing to open up more in the car because they are not able to make direct eye contact with you.
Praying before meals. Have a list of friends and family that you can pray for before dinner. A fun way to do this is to save your Christmas cards and put them near your table. Choose one every night and pray for that family by name!
Bedtime routines. Establish a routine at bedtime where you might read a Bible story with your children and then ask them questions about the ways they see The Lord working. This is a great time to ask your children things that are on their minds and hearts.
I hope that you see that discipleship does not have to be long or complex. Formal discipleship can be folded into the normal rhythms that your family already has. However, I would encourage you, that if you feel like your family does not have time or margin to actively disciple your children, it is probably time to evaluate your family’s calendar to see what space you can create for discipleship. That might mean giving up a sport or an extra circular activity, but there is nothing more important than training our children to know and love God.
The best way to get into a routine of family discipleship is to simply start with one small step. If you do not currently have a formal time of discipleship in your home, I would encourage you to find one pocket of time where you can start reading a Bible story with your children. After a week or so of that story, start to ask them some questions about what they are learning in the story. Then, after a few weeks of that rhythm, build in another routine. Maybe start memorizing a passage of scripture over breakfast or start working through a catechism before bedtime. Before you know it, you have structured time in your day when you are teaching your children about the way of Jesus, and then the time will start to feel less structured but simply the everyday rhythms and routine of your home. My encouragement to you would be to start some of these rhythms when your children are babies! It might feel silly to you to read a Bible story before bed to your newborn or to turn on Scripture memory songs for your infant, but the younger you start, the more natural it will feel to you as the parent as your child starts listening and comprehending. Not only that, but children, even babies, learn the rhythms and routines of their family so quickly; therefore, the best rhythms we can start are family discipleship rhythms.
Here are some resources for you and your family as you continue on your journey of family discipleship:
Storybook Bibles:
A note about Storybook Bibles: these resources can be so helpful for your family, but it is also important to read the actual passages of Scripture with your children. Children will develop better Biblical literacy if they are hearing and learning to read the text of Scripture.
Podcasts:
Music:
Slugs and Bugs
Shane & Shane, Kingdom Kids
Seeds Family Worship
Ellie Holcomb, Sing Albums
Other Resources:
Tiny Theologians Cards (attributes of God, Church history, etc)
Tales that Tell the Truth series published by The Good Book Company
These are just a small fraction of the great resources that are available to you, if you need other resources for more specific things—we would love to help you find them!
My genuine hope is that you feel encouraged in your journey of family discipleship! No matter where you are on this journey, I hope that you are offering grace for yourself as you teach your children about Jesus. Paul tells us in Romans 8 that there is no condemnation for those who are in Jesus! Let that sink over you. Discipling your children in the way of Jesus should not be discouraging or drudgery. It should simply be an outworking of the grace of Jesus in your own life! As you are on the journey of discipling your family, may you find much encouragement within the walls of the local church. We are here to support you and encourage you on this journey to make much of Jesus within your family.
May we offer our children three full and well-balanced meals a day. May we offer them a complete example and story of the gospel: the story that Jesus came to save sinners like you and me. May we sing His praises in this generation and in the ones to come!